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Press Release

Tiger Unit to Evict Kiir’s Ugandan English Teacher

By Nicholas Osobi,

 South Sudan's troubled President Salva Kiir Mayardit (C) directly addressing his Presidential Guard during a meeting at the Presidential Palace in Juba, South Sudan on December 28, 2014. (Photo credits: Samir Bol/Anadolu Agency/Getty Images)
South Sudan’s troubled President Salva Kiir Mayardit (C) directly addressing his Presidential Guard during a meeting at the Presidential Palace in Juba, South Sudan on December 28, 2014. (Photo credits: Samir Bol/Anadolu Agency/Getty Images)

April 24, 2016(Nyamilepedia) —- A tension is said to be brewing up between Salva Kiir’s Ugandan English teacher only identified as Nancy and his guards from the Tiger Unit (presidential guards).

A credible source from president’s camp reveals that the guards have been frustrated by her (Nancy’s) disrespectful manners toward them and therefore want to evict her from their boss’ bedroom if she doesn’t change her behaviours.

They accuse her of being rude, proud, and also culturally insensitive. One of the guards identified as Garang was reportedly not impressed with the English teacher’s jokes, when she often refers to him as “contour man”, owing to his unique traditional scarring on the face, worst of it, she wants to be treated like another first lady.

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She sips exotic liquor tribes such as Jim Beam, St. Hellena, Illuminati, and Champagne buy online topamax with the president while the guards themselves are occasionally given Fanta and Coca-cola only when there’re foreign dignitaries at the palace.

Nancy is said to hail from Nyankole tribe of western Uganda and is also rumoured to be a niece to President M7 of Uganda.

According to some sources, she was discontinued from Nkumba University in early 2000’s due to academic malpractices (cheating exam), and how she has ended up on the cowboy’s payrolls is a puzzle to everyone, more especially to those who know her academic background.

Some revolutionary analysts believe a university drop out like her is not qualified enough to teach Queen’s language to any president. Some analyst insist that she could still be qualified enough to teach the JCE boss because he dropped out of school ages ago when Pope was still an altar-boy.

It is not known how the Cowboy boss, Kiir himself will react to this eviction mission by the Tiger Crews.

Watch this space for any update!!

Mr. Nicholas Osobi, is a columnist, who can be reached at nicholas.osobi@columnist.com

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